Clerks: The Animated Series is a spin-off based on the live action movie Clerks. The main cast of the movie also lent their voices to their animated counterparts. The show, like the film, focuses on the lives of two convenience store clerks, Dante and Randal. Although they - especially Dante - often think of their lives as boring and monotonous, in the series they tend to experience a lot more excitement and (mis)adventures than they asked for. The show makes full use of the medium of animation, introducing outrageous plots and lively pace coupled with the quick, clever dialogue and randomness of the movie.
The series was extremely short-lived: only two episodes were ever officially aired by ABC until the show was canceled. Low ratings contributed to the early cancellation, as well as the network's decision to air the two episodes out of order. Six episodes were completed in total and they were later released on DVD where they gained more success and recognition. For fans of creator Kevin Smith's trademarks - pop culture references, witty repartee and a truckload of randomness - it's an absolute treat and not to be missed.
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Main Characters:
Dante Hicks. VA Brian O'Halloran.
Dante Hicks is a college dropout who hates his boring clerk job, but
doesn't have the courage or willpower to make big changes in his life.
He dislikes conflict and tends to settle for less and always act as the
peacemaker just to avoid it.
Randal Graves. VA Jeff Anderson.
Randal works in the video store next to the Quick Stop - when he feels
like it. He's always late and rude to the customers, as he openly
admits to hating them. His behaviour and crazy plans often end up
backfiring on Dante.
Jay and Silent Bob. VAs Jason Mewes & Kevin Smith.
Jay and Silent Bob are two mischief-makers who often end up either
unwittingly helping the clerks in some way or causing them trouble. Jay
is the more clueless of the two, often completely unaware of his
surroundings. He's also much more hyper and talkative than Silent Bob,
who, like his name suggests, only speaks on rare occasions. Jay seems
to generally understand what he means by even the smallest gestures,
though.
Leonardo Leonardo. VA Alec Baldwin.
The "main enemy" of the clerks. At least he seems to like to think of
their relationship in such dramatic terms, although Dante and Randal
are typically too uninterested or powerless to act as truly worthy
foes. When the two point out some simple or plainly obvious flaw in his
plans, he'll often ominously retort: "Well played, clerks".
Episode guide:
1. Episode One (a.k.a "Leonardo Leonardo Returns And Dante Has An Important Decision To Make")
Leonardo Leonardo sets up a new convenience store (Quicker
Stop) opposite the Quick Stop, causing Dante and Randal to lose their
jobs. The clerks decide to retaliate. At the end of the episode, Jay
and Silent Bob feature in their "Safety Tips" mock-PSA.
2. "Episode Two (a.k.a. The Clipshow Wherein Dante And Randal Are
Locked In The Freezer And Remember Some Of The Great Moments In Their
Lives)"
The second episode of the show is already a clipshow, where Dante and
Randal mostly flashback to the first episode and random, goofy scenes
that never actually took place in the series. Silent Bob and Jay share
tips on how to pass time on a rainy day in their own short.
3. "Episode Three (a.k.a. Leonardo Is Caught In The Grip Of An
Outbreak Of Randal's Imagination And Patrick Swayze Either Does Or
Doesn't Work In The New Pet Store)"
Randal takes care of the Quick Stop during Dante's absence. He forgets
to place a box of burritos in the freezer and they turn rotten.
Meanwhile, a new pet store is set up next door and Randal is paranoid
the monkey there will cause a deadly virus outbreak. Leonardo Leonardo
eats one of the spoiled burritos and becomes ill, making Randal believe
it was caused by the monkey's bite. Jay and Silent Bob star in a
"Science Sez" short.
4. "Episode Four (a.k.a. A Dissertation On The American Justice
System By People Who Have Never Been Inside A Courtroom, Let Alone Know
Anything About The Law, But Have Seen Way Too Many Legal Thrillers)"
Randal and Dante bet that they couldn't do each other's job for a day,
so they swap places at RST Video and the Quick Stop. Jay slips on the
floor of the Quick Stop and sues Dante for $10 million. Randal decides
to act as Dante's defense lawyer. Chaos ensues.
5. "Episode Five (a.k.a. Dante And Randal And Jay And Silent Bob And
A Bunch Of New Characters And Lando Take Part In A Whole Bunch Of Movie
Parodies Including, But Not Exclusive To, The Bad News Bears, The Last
Starfighter, Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, Plus A High School
Reunion)"
The clerks go to a high school reunion where Dante discovers none of
his old baseball teammates remember him. Leonardo Leonardo offers him a
chance to coach his own little league team. Meanwhile, Randal beats his
old high score in the "Pharaoh" video game and is offered a unique
opportunity to put his skills to use.
6. "Episode Six (a.k.a. The Last Episode Ever)"
Randal and Dante visit a comic con where they discover fans don't like
their show and want them to be more faithful to the movie. The clerks
agree to bring the show closer to its roots and thus confine themselves
within the Quick Stop, unable to go outside even as a fair comes to
town and the craziest things start happening just across the street.
Quotes:
Some narrated clips from the opening scenes of certain episodes:
"Clerks is drawn before a live studio audience"
"Clerks is filmed by a live studio audience"
"Clerks is drawn by a live studio audience"
Customer entering Quick Stop: "Is anybody here?"
Randal (unseen voice-over): "Is it safe?"
Customer: "Is what safe?"
Randal: "Is it safe?"
Customer: *looking around nervously* "Y...yes. It's safe. It's...very
safe."
Randal: "Is it safe?"
Customer: "Listen, are you gonna come out or what?"
Randal: "Is it safe?"
Customer: "This isn't funny!"
Dante: "It puts the lotion on its skin and puts it in the basket!"
Randal: "(Shut up, man.) Is it safe? Is it safe?"
Customer: "Stop it! I just want some smokes! I just want some smokes!"
Randal: "Is it safe?"
Customer: *runs
screaming out of the store, hops into his car and drives off. The car
crashes against a garbage can and bursts into fire. The customer gets
out and runs off screaming, then spontaneously combusts.*
Randal: "30 seconds. You owe me five bucks."
Randal: *bursts into the Quick Stop in hysterics* "Oh my God! Call the
cops! I just freed myself from a madman's subterranean prison! He's been holding
me captive - which is why I'm a little late opening the video store. I can describe
the den cage for police artists. There were walls! There were doors! *breaks down* I can't relive it! Don't make me, I'm begging you....
*notices Dante, calms down instantly* What're you doing here?"
Dante: "It seems someone told the boss I needed to work more hours for
college credits."
Randal: "Wasn't me."
Dante: "I didn't say it was."
Randal: "Well, that's good, 'cause I....alright, it was me."
Dante: "Very smooth. *points to customer* This guy has been waiting
all morning. How about you go open up the video store and earn your keep?"
Randal: " 'Earn your keep'? You talk like such a mo sometimes. *to customer* You,
move it."
Customer: "You're three hours late!"
Randal: *grabs the videos from the customer* "And so are these. There's
gonna be a late charge."
Randal: "What's going on?"
Guy: "Don't you know? He has returned!"
Randal: "Uh-oh. Jesus?"
Guy: "Better! Leonardo Leonardo has returned!"
Dante: "And he is...?"
Guy: "You've never heard of Leonardo Leonardo?"
Randal: "Hey, man. We've got our fingers on the pulse of this community. So
I ask you: who the hell is Leonardo Leonardo?"
Reporter voice on TV: " "Who the hell is Leonardo Leonardo?" It's a
question asked by the poorly educated with fingers far from the pulse of the
community!"
Randal: "You're poorly educated!"
Dante: "You're talking to the television."
Leonardo Leonardo: "For too long, the miserable corner store has been a
haven for ludicrous price-gouging and rude, poorly trained clerks!"
Dante: "You think he's talking about us?"
Randal: *dismissively* "No."
Leonardo Leonardo: "With names like Dante and Handle."
Randal: *shouts* "Randal!"
Dante: " 'Pay as you exit'? This your plan? 'Pay as you exit'? Isn't
that what the customers were doing already?"
Randal: "Kind of. I guess. Shut up."
Jay: " 'Pay as you exit'? Sweet deal!"
Silent Bob: *raises an eyebrow*
Jay: "You're right, Silent Bob. Besides, we got some bad news that's gonna
rock their feeble clerk world."
Dante: "I can't even imagine."
Jay: "Listen up: we quit!"
Randal: "You don't work here."
Jay: "Not anymore we don't! This is an official notice! From now on,
Silent Bob and I will be officially standing in front of the Quicker
Stop. Officially!"
*both walk off to a few yards away, across the street*
Jay: "We'll be over here if anyone comes looking for us!"
Leonardo's assistant: "Sir, the Quick Stop sales have spiked over one thousand
percent."
Leonardo Leonardo: "Let me see that! *ominously* Bring this Quick Stop to me."
Assistant: "Sir, it's a store."
Leonardo Leonardo: "Bring it!"
Assistant: "How about the two kids who run it instead?"
Leonardo Leonardo: "All right. For now."
*Dante and Randal are watching a TV show*
Dante: "I've seen this one a thousand times. It won a Humanitas."
Randal: "What's that?"
Dante: "It's an award for TV shows that don't use words like 'retarded'."
Randal: "That's retarded. And queer."
*Dante and Randal are locked inside the cold storage room*
Dante: "God, it's cold."
Randal: "It's Hoth cold."
Dante: "Move around. Make more Star Wars references, it helps us stay warm."
*still in the same storage room*
Randal: "Hey, do you think there's enough air in here?"
Dante: "No."
Randal: "You know what this reminds me of? The last time we got locked
in a freezer. Remember?"
*flashback in time*
Dante: "Let's make sure, whatever we do, this never happens again."
Randal: "Hey, you know what this reminds me of? The last time we got locked
in a freezer. Remember?"
*flashback to an even earlier time*
Dante: "Let's make sure, whatever we do, this never happens again!"
*forward to the present moment*
Dante: "All right. Well, let's make sure that this time, whatever we
do, this never happens again."
*Jay and Silent Bob get stuck in the freezer with Dante and Randal*
Jay: "Man, it's cold in here. Like that planet Hoth in Empire."
Dante: "We've already made that Star Wars reference."
Jay: *points to Silent Bob* "If we had a light sabre, I could fwoom
fwoom, snick snick snick - fwoaaahh Jedi! - slice up Tubby here and we could
crawl inside him and stay warm for the night!"
*Bob's eyes fly open*
Jay: "You know, one time, me and Silent Bob were by this metal thing with the
knob..."
*flashback to a few moments earlier when the two open the freezer door and enter*
Jay: "Youse guys remember that?"
Dante: "Yes! You just did it!"
Jay: "Deja-frickin'-vu!"
*Dante and Randal finally make it out of the freezer and decide to pop by at the video store which Randal hasn't opened all day*
Customer waiting outside: "It's 3 A.M.! My baby has been home alone since this
morning! Where have you been?"
Randal: "Sorry, ma'am, we close at 9."
*Randal slams the door in her face, then proceeds to lock the door*
Randal: "Uh-oh. The key broke in the lock!"
Dante: "We're trapped? Again?"
Randal: *banging on the door* "Hello? Anyone? Lady with the dead baby?"
Randal: "Hey, wanna watch a video?"
Dante: "Good idea! What d'you got?"
Randal: "Spielberg's latest opus. It combines his nose for commercial
properties with his integrity as a chronicler of the Holocaust:
'Flintstone's List'!"
Dante: "And that's just some of the fun we've had here in Leonardo. How about
all the places we've travelled over the years?"
Randal: "Do you remember that contest we won? Two weeks in merry old London,
England?"
Dante: "Working in an English convenience store!"
*flashback to 'Ye Olde Quicke Stoppe' in London*
Dante: "Ah, this is the life!"
Randal: "We've just gotta get away more often."
English customer: "Pack of fags!"
Randal: "You're a fag!"
Customer: "It's a cigarette, mate."
Randal: "I'm not your mate, fag!" *attacks customer*
*back to the present*
Dante: "Boy, it wasn't until years later that we found out what 'fag' really meant.
Heh, right, mate?"
Randal: "You're a fag!"
Dante: "N...no, a fag's a cigarette, remember?"
Randal: "You're a cigarette!"
Dante: "Wow, a new pet store! Wanna go check out the monkey?"
Randal: "I guess we should, if we're gonna kill it."
Dante: "What?! Kill a monkey? Are you mad?"
Randal: "Man, didn't you see 'Outbreak'? One monkey almost wiped out an entire
town and Kevin Spacey with the deadly Motaba virus!"
Dante: "Umm, that was a movie. This is real life."
Randal: "You said the same thing about 'Jaws' when we were kids."
Dante: "Because you refused to sit on the toilet!"
Randal: "Sharks swim in water, there's water in the toilet. I rest my case."
Dante: *about Patrick Swayze* "How the hell do you know that guy?"
Randal: "Patrick? He just moved next door to me and my mom. Critics love it
when former 'Dirty Dancing' stars do TV shows."
Dante: "This isn't a TV show."
Randal: "Now who's being naive?"
Dante: "Look, there's no outbreak here. You're victims of an overactive imagination
of a pop culture junkie loudmouth!"
Disease control official: "Quentin Tarantino?"
Dante: "I tell ya, I'm exhausted."
Randal: "You're exhausted? I had three people rent today."
Dante: "Three people? Randal, three people is nothing."
Randal: "It is when you're trying to figure out which three people to rent
to."
Dante: "What are you doing? You're gonna get us both sent to jail!"
Randal: "In Virginia anyone who passes the bar can be a lawyer."
Dante: "You haven't passed the bar, and this isn't Virginia!"
Randal: "They don't know that!"
Randal: "Most honorable guard, that slave is breaking rocks slowly."
Guard: "You! Take break! For break, get whipped while pull cart with teeth!"
Jay: "Let's get back to this sucky fair, Silent Bob. I wanna get in line for
that Caitlin chick's kissing booth."
Dante: "What?! Caitlin has a kissing booth? Like for charity?"
Jay: "Yeah, only it don't cost nothing. And it's not for charity."
*leaves the store, comes back*
"And there's no booth."
*leaves the store, comes back*
"And it's more than just kissing."
*leaves the store, comes back*
"And you don't have to be a guy."
*leaves the store, comes back*
"Dude, she's cheating on you."
~ JessKat
Favorite images:
Dante and Randal meet for the first time as kids
Some things never change
*Dante and Randal are locked in the storage room*
Randal: "You know what this reminds me of? The last time we got locked
in a freezer. Remember?"
*flashback in time*
Dante: "Let's make sure, whatever we do, this never happens again."
Randal: "Hey, you know what this reminds me of? The last time we got locked in
a freezer. Remember?"
*flashback to an even earlier time*
Dante: "Let's make sure, whatever we do, this never happens again!"
The reality
RST Video offers quality films
"Why are we walking like this?"
Samples from the crazy anime spoof scene from episode 4:
Narrator: "Who is driving? Oh my God, bear is driving, how can that be?!"
~ JessKat
This page created by JessKat