Divine Conversation
by Serendipity

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Suzaku and Seiryu. Two all-mighty gods, lords of all they see, bitter rivals. They constantly clash forces, red and blue, raging an endless battle over the span of eternity. They sat down for tea. Yes, tea. Being a god is very stressful work, you know. They've got to have a break sometime.

Suzaku poured himself some jasmine tea in a dainty, porcelain teacup, attempting to ignore the barbarous god sitting across from him.

Seiryu swigged some tea down in a very uncivilized manner, ignoring the other gods' expressions. " So, Suzaku. I see you've got yourself a priestess."

Byakko looked nervously from deity to deity. " Oh no," he thought, " They're going to start up again."

Suzaku glared at the dragon god. " So?"

" So nothing. I'd just like to take this time to express the fact that my miko is superior to yours."

Suzaku slammed the cup on the table. " How dare you, you overstuffed lizard! My priestess is as pure as crystal! You're simply jealous because yours has no interest in YOU whatsoever!"

Seiryu stood up. " Why you scarlet-painted rooster! Your priestess couldn't hold a candle to mine! She's nothing but a whiny, spoiled little brat!"

" Well, yours is a manipulative, vindictive little b-"

" No profanity, please! Some of us are trying to have a peaceful, stress-less teatime, if you don't mind," snapped Genbu.

" Well, I'm just trying to tell this idiot that my miko is better than his!" responded Suzaku, a dangerous glint in his eye.

Seiryu snorted. " Oh, please. All your priestess does is wander around and get herself in trouble, then have to be rescued by that dip, Tamahome."

" That is not true!"

" You know it is! Those two only know how to say each others' names!" He clasped his clawed hands together and batted his eyes. " Tamahome! Miaka! Tamahome! Miaka!"

Byakko and Genbu spit out their tea.

Suzaku ruffled his feathers, irritated. " Just because Tamahome chose her over your priestess, which, in my opinion, shows excellent taste on his part…"

" What was that?" yelled Seiryu, beginning to look quite angry.

" I said that your priestess couldn't compare to mine in physical beauty!"

Seiryu spluttered.

" And that goes for your celestial warriors as well! I mean, look at Tomo! What is he? A clown?"

Seiryu choked angrily. " Well, I wouldn't be talking! SOME of yours don't even look their gender!"

Suzaku pretended not to hear the comment. " And Ashitare! I'm not even going to DISCUSS Ashitare!"

" Well I will!," yelled Seiryu, " He did manage to kill that cross-dressing freak of yours!"

" And then she…er…HE managed to kill him!"

" It was a lucky shot!"

" He snapped his neck!"

Genbu was beginning to look quite pale.

" And at least my priestess has the loyalty and friendship of ALL her seishi!", added Suzaku. " I mean, Yui's practically Nakago's little puppet!"

" My Nakago could twist all your seishi AND your miko around his little finger!"

" Care to say that to my face, dragon boy?"

" Bring it on, you feather duster!"

" That's enough!" Byakko folded his arms impatiently. " I've had enough of you two bickering."

" Oh yeah?" challenged Seiryu. " I remember when you and Genbu used to argue about your priestesses!"

Byakko face-faulted a bit. " That's not the point. Anyways, we all know who won that argument."

Genbu looked a bit irritated. " I already told you that whole thing was an accident!"

Byakko and Genbu started ignoring, oblivious to Seiryu pouring some sake into the tea. They all turned and looked at him suddenly and he popped back into his seat, whistling and filing his claws.

" Anyways…" muttered Suzaku, looking a bit disturbed.

Genbu took a swig of tea, muttering something about fragile human females, and how it wasn't his fault she couldn't handle it.

Mass sweatdropping.

" Where was I? Ah yes. The superiority of my priestess," said Suzaku.

" Not again." Groaned Byakko.

Oblivious, Suzaku went on raving about Miaka, while Seiryu made rude gestures at him. Suzaku stopped and gave him a look. Seiryu gave him an innocent look, which is hard to do when one is a dragon god. The sounds of garbled singing got both their attentions, though.

" Byakko? G-Genbu?" stuttered Suzaku.

The two other deities were slumped over the table, their arms slung over each other's backs.

" I-toe-she, he-toe no tommy-nee.." slurred Byakko, waving his other arm around wildly.

" While drinking!," yelled Genbu, and the two drank some tea and emitted loud gargling noises.

Suzaku sweatdropped, then turned to see Seiryu with a big smirk on his face. " You did this, didn't you?!" he yelled.

Seiryu shook his head, still grinning.

" You lie!" yelled Suzaku. " you're always doing garbage like this! Why don't you act your age for goodness sake?"

Seiryu growled. " Well at least I have a sense of humor! Which is more that can be said for YOU, you chicken!"

" What? How dare you, you glorified salamander!"

" Idiot!"

" Knave!"

" Oh KNAVE. That's a good one. You're running out of insults, oh red sparrow."

" Not at all, you pathetic piece of.."

" Ooh! Suzy almost said a four letter word!"

" Suzy! Why I.."

An apocalyptic scuffle followed. Afterwards, the two sat down at the table, exhausted. Byakko and Genbu were in a drunken stupor. Suzaku turned to Seiryu, lifting a little china plate.

" Crumpets?"