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AUTHOR'S NOTE- Don't ask why I'm writing a Simpsons/Scooby-Doo
crossover. I just got it right out of my head to do one, okay. I just hope
you like it.






(Scene opens with the Simpson family driving to see Mr. Burns at his
new summer home. A car drives past them, as Homer shakes his fist at the
driver.)

HOMER- Watch where your driving, idiot!

MARGE- Homer, do you know where Mr. Burns' house is?

HOMER- Sure I do, Marge. All we have to do is look at the map.

LISA- What map?

HOMER- The one Burns gave before we left. (Looks around for map, but
it ain't there.) D'oh!

MARGE- You forgot the map didn't you, Homer?

HOMER- No, I didn't. I know that way by heart.

(Scene change to five hours later, where they finally made it to the
mansion where Mr. Burns and Smithers are standing outside.)

MR. BURNS- Simpson, where have you been? We've been waiting here for
five hours looking for you.

BART- Dad lost the m...

HOMER- (Frowns at Bart.) Bart! (Turns to Burns.) I had to make a few
rest stops on the way, sir. Why did you want me over here anyway?

MR. BURNS- I want you and your family to spend the night at my soon to
be new hotel.

MARGE- That's nice of you, Mr. Burns. But could we afford it?

MR. BURNS- It's free, Mrs. Simpson.

HOMER- Is the food free?

MR. BURNS- Yes.

HOMER- The beds?

MR. BURNS- Everything's free, you fool!

HOMER- Woo Hoo!

MR. BURNS- I must be leaving now. We'll come back in the morning to
see how you did.

(Mr. Burns and Smithers leave.)

SMITHERS- But sir, you forgot to tell them about the you-know-what
that's haunting the mansion.

MR. BURNS- If they're not there in the morning, I'll buy you a steak
dinner. Besides, I hired expert ghost hunters just in case.

(Cut to a familiar van driving on the road. The writing on the side of
the van says "Mystery Machine." Yes kids, it's the Scooby-Doo gang.)

VELMA- I can't wait to go inside that mansion to find that ghost.

SHAGGY- Tell me why we're doing this again?

FRED- Some billionaire wants us to find a ghost that's haunting his
mansion.

DAPHNE- He'll pay us enough money for capturing the spook, which we'll
give to charity.

SHAGGY- I still don't like it.

SCOOBY- Re roo.

VELMA- We'll keep half for Scooby Snacks.

SCOOBY- Romise?

VELMA- We promise, Scooby.

SCOOBY- Roo Roo!

(Scene changes to the Simpsons eating dinner in the dining room of the
mansion.)

HOMER- I sure like these pork chops, Marge. Where did you get the
recipe?

MARGE- I brought them from home, Homer.

HOMER- I thought the cooks were making these chops?

MARGE- What cooks? They're no maids, butlers, or cooks in this place.

HOMER- What?! Burns said that everything was free.

LISA- Except servants.

HOMER- D'oh!

(There's a knock at the door.)

HOMER- Who could that be?

MARGE- Better see who it is, Homer.

(Homer walks to the door; opens it to see the Scooby-Doo gang.)

HOMER- What the hell do you want?

VELMA- You can't say that word on TV.

HOMER- What word?

VELMA- The H word.

HOMER- Hell?

VELMA- That's the one.

HOMER- Are you spies from Ted Turner?

FRED- What are you talking about, sir? We're here to catch a ghost.

HOMER- Now we finally got a plot in this story. Are you the
Ghostbusters? I just love it when Tracy the gorilla gets stuff blown up in his
face in every episode.

DAPHNE- Can we stay here for the night till in the morning?

HOMER- There's nothing else to do in this mansion anyway.

(Marge enters.)

MARGE- Homer, who was that?

HOMER- Just some nosey kids and their dog trying to catch a ghost.

MARGE- You know that they're no such things as ghosts.

SCARY VOICE- GET OUT!

MARGE- Bart, stop that!

(Bart, Lisa, and Maggie enter.)

BART- That isn't me, Mom.

HOMER- Then let's ask Jebediah Springfield over there.

(Everyone turns to see Jebediah Springfield.)

VELMA- Jinkies! It's the ghost of Jebediah Springfield!

JEBEDIAH- Get out of my mansion!

SHAGGY- Great idea, Mr. Ghost.

(Scooby jumps into Shaggy's arms and they both run away, but Fred grabs
Shaggy's shirt collar.)

FRED- We're not going anywhere, Shaggy, until we catch that ghost.

HOMER- Well, if those crazy kids are staying, then the Simpsons are
leaving. Right Marge?

MARGE- Wrong, Homer.

HOMER- Why not?

MARGE- This our show, besides we have five more minutes of this cartoon
left.

HOMER- Ok. (Turns to ghost.) We ain't afraid of no ghosts!

JEBEDIAH- Then die!

HOMER- Now we're afraid of ghosts.

(Homer runs, but Marge grabs him by the shirt collar.)

MARGE- We're not going to let some spook scare us like that. We're
going to stand up and ...

(Homer grabs Marge by the arm.)

HOMER- RUN LIKE HECK!

(Homer and Marge run off, but Marge stops in her tracks.)

MARGE- But what about Mr. Burns?

HOMER- Nuts to Burns! I'm not going live in the same house with the
ghost of our town founder.

VELMA- The ghost is gone, Mr. Simpson.

HOMER- That's a relief.

DAPHNE- But he did leave a clue.

(They look to see two wooden stilts on the floor.)

LISA- Walking stilts?

SHAGGY- What would a ghost want with stilts?

FRED- That's why we're going to spit up to find out why.

SHAGGY- I hate it when you do that.

HOMER- I want to know is what's going on here? Besides, I want to
order a pizza while we look.

(Scene changes to Homer, Shaggy, Scooby, and Bart in the kitchen.)

BART- Why are we looking for the ghost in the kitchen?

HOMER- Son, you got to learn that ghosts get hungry after scaring
people.

BART- Dad, ghosts don't eat.

HOMER- But they did in that Casper movie.

(Homer opens the refrigerator door and takes out a leg of lamb and a
slice of pizza.)

BART- Is that for the ghost?

HOMER- No, it's for me. I have eaten lunch.

(Just then the ghost enters.)

SHAGGY- Zoinks! It's the ghost!

(Homer and Bart don't see the ghost, but Bart turns around sees the
ghost, and taps Homer on the shoulder while doing his Shemp
impersonation.)

HOMER- Bart, will you stop doing you stupid Shemp impersonation.

(Bart then does Curly.)

HOMER- Also Curly, even Curly Joe.

BART- Ghost.

(Homer turns around and sees the ghost.)

JEBEDIAH- Get out!

HOMER- We heard you the first...(Homer's eyes bug out like some cartoon
character at the ghost.) The ghost!

JEBEDIEAH- BOO!

(Bart, Homer, Shaggy, and Scooby scream and begin to run.)

SCOOBY- Ray rat runky race rusic, Raggy.

HOMER- Who do you think you are Scooby, Elmer Fudd?

(As the chase music begins, a montage begins to fold into place. Homer
hides into a closet, only to find a bound and gagged Selma and Patty;
Homer shrugs and closes the door; The ghost chases Scooby and Shaggy
where the two dress up as circus clowns, and give the ghost balloons that
float him up into the air, but Bart shoots at the balloons with his
slingshot, which the ghost falls on his bottom. The ghost chases Bart and
Homer all the way downstairs where Fred and the others have set a trap,
but Homer slips on some grease that has him bump into the ghost that
crashes them both into two barrels of flour and molasses. Everyone runs
toward the huge mess.)

MARGE- Homer, are you all right?

HOMER- Mmmm...flour and molasses.

FRED- Now to see who our ghost really is.

(Fred pulls the mask to see...)

MARGE- Ned Flanders?

HOMER- Flanders isn't that abnormal.

(Fred pulls the mask again to reveal...)

BART- Sideshow Bob?

LISA- He's reformed, remember?

(Fred pulls the mask again to reveal...)

SHAGGY- Hank Hill?

VELMA- Wrong show.

(Velma pulls the mask to reveal...)

DAPHNE- Don Knotts?

HOMER- Nuts to this.

(Homer pulls off a lot of masks that resemble Chief Wiggum, Apu, Barney
Gumbel, Moe, Fred Flintstone, Daria Morgendorffer, Bender, Fry, Leela,
and Krusty the Klown. So the real villain is...)

EVERYONE- SCRAPPY-DOO!?

VELMA- Why did you do it, Scrappy?

SCRAPPY- All you guys got all the glory, and I got crud. I never got
any credit on all the toys, book, shirts, pants, and lunchboxes.

BART- And talking dolls.

SCRAPPY- And talking dolls.

SCOOBY- Re rorry, rappy.

FRED- What can we do to help?

SCRAPPY- I want to be in your next television project, and a bigger
trailer.

DAPHNE- Deal.

SCRAPPY- So when do we start?

(Scene changes to the Simpsons front room where they watch TV.)

LISA- Didn't any of you notice that those kids and their dog look very
familiar, like they were out from some Saturday morning cartoon?

HOMER- Lisa, let daddy watch TV.

TV ANNOUNCER- We now return to "Scooby-Doo in South Park."

(Cut to TV.)

VELMA- So Mr. Garrison hid the drugs in Cartman's backpack to frame
him.

FRED- And would go to Mexico with the stolen money.

OFFICER BARBRADY- Good work kids, you'll get a good reward for this.

SHAGGY- The credit should go to Scrappy-Doo. If he hadn't been here,
his uncle wouldn't be here now.

(Jimbo and Ned enter.)

JIMBO- A small puppy! Shoot it, Ned!

SCRAPPY- Wait! That's not in the script!

(Jimbo and Ned start shooting and killing Scrappy.)

DAPHNE- Oh my god! They killed Scrappy-Doo!

VELMA- You...wait, we didn't like him anyway.

(The Scooby- Doo Gang cheer.)

JIMBO- Ned, I told you to use blanks on the guest stars.

NED- Sorry, Jimbo.

(Cut to the Simpsons.)

LISA- That was a lame crossover.

BART- Who could of thought putting two shows together would help boost
ratings.

HOMER- I hope that doesn't happen in real life.

(There's a knock at the door; Homer answers it, and opens to door to
reveal Peter Griffin from "Family Guy.)

PETER- Me and my family just moved in, and was wondering if you got any
sugar?

(Stewie enters with a machine gun in his hand.)

STEWIE- (At Homer.) Prepare to die, fat boy.

(Homer turns to the camera.)

HOMER- Iris out already.

(Iris out, then we see Scooby in the black background.)

SCOOBY- Scooby-Dooby- Doo!

HOMER'S VOICE- Why you little...

(Homer runs in and chokes Scooby via Bart.)





THE END


THIS HAS BEEN A PUMPKINHEAD
PRODUCTION