Broadcasting from downtown Main Street

It’s Tommy’s House of Mouse!

Who’s that knockin’ at the House of Mouse?

Tommy’s rockin’ at the House of Mouse

He’ll make sure that we shake the house

Tommy’s rockin’ at the House of Mouse

So come on in, we’re gonna shake the house

We’re havin’ a ball at the House of Mouse!

TOMMY’S HOUSE OF MOUSE

By Animated Stranger and Trojan Horse

YOU’VE GOT A FOE IN ME

Mike: and now, the inventor of the computer’s mouse, Mickey Mouse!

Mickey: Hey there, folks!  Today you’re gonna be seeing a lot of computer animated characters today. And feel free to sit with people who aren’t from your own universes.                

Donald: That rule just isn’t right. 

Goofy: I think it’s a great new rule! Ahyuk!

Tommy: I make the rules and they’re the best rules to hit Main Street.

(Buzz and Woody are sitting at a table.) 

Woody: I hope Tommy will forgive me. No one wanted to sit with an out of style cowboy doll, so I have to sit with you. 

Buzz: At least everyone would want to sit with Buzz Lightyear.

Woody: Are you saying you’re better then me?

Buzz: We’re friends Woody, but we have our differences.

Woody: Differences in what, Popularity?

Buzz: Well…yes.

(Woody throws his water at Buzz.)

Buzz: That does it! I’m not your friend anymore!

Woody: Fine with me! I’ll get a new friend!

Buzz: The same with me!
(Buzz and Woody walk away.)

Minnie: Something looks wrong with them.

(Rika, Renamon, Kron, and Aladar are sitting at a table.)

Rika: It was nice of you to invite us, Aladar.

Kron: You two never get invited. The House of Mouse IS changing.

(Goofy accidentally trips and falls on their table.)
Aladar: Are you okay, waiter?

Kron: Watch where you’re going! Tommy should fire you! People like you are completely useless!

(Goofy walks away.)

Aladar: What’s the big deal?

Renamon: Goofy doesn’t belong here.

Aladar: Everyone counts!

Rika: You actually think so? Boy, are you stupid.

Kron: We are strong and Goofy is weak! There’s a difference.

Aladar: There is not. We’re all equal.

Kron: You dare object to what I say?

Rika: (sighs) He’ll never understand.

(Meanwhile, Woody is still upset.)

Flik: Hey, Woody. What’s the matter with you today?

Woody: Buzz has gone from my best friend to my worst enemy.

Flik: So you’re looking for a new friend, aren’t you?

Woody: Exactly.

Flik: How did this start?

Woody: Buzz was bragging about how everyone would want to sit with him and how he was better then me and everything.

Flik: That was stupid. No friend should do that.

Woody: I knew you’d understand! You’re my new friend!

(Woody grabs Flik with his rope.)

Woody: Come with me, new friend!

Flik: You’re…tying me up too tight.

(Buzz is somewhere else.)

Buzz: I can’t believe Woody.

(The grasshopper from “James and the Giant Peach.” Comes over.

Grasshopper: Are you alright?

Buzz: No, but I wish I was.

Grasshopper: Poor man. I’ll soothe your soul with music.

(The Grasshopper plays a tune on his violin.)

Buzz: That was absolutely beautiful! What kind of monstrosity are you?

Grasshopper: Was that a compliment, because it didn’t sound like one.

Buzz: You’ll be my new best friend!

(Back at Kron’s table.)

Kron: There are 2 types of people in the world: Weaklings and strong men!

Rika: I’m no weakling, but I’m not a strong man either.

Aladar: Everyone is important. We’ll settle this with rock scissors paper!

Rika: Allow me.

(Rika uses paper and Aladar uses rock.)
Rika: Ha! I win! Weak people don’t matter.

Kron: You always use rock, Aladar. You’ve lived in the Stone Age so long, you can’t use modern things like scissors and paper!

Aladar: You’re a dinosaur too. I bet you always use rock.

Renamon: This is getting tiresome.

(Kron and Aladar both use rock.)

Aladar: When you play rock scissors paper, it’s no different from when I do.

Kron: Wait. That was a bomb. It blew up your rock.

Aladar: CHEATER! CHEATER!

Mickey: And now…a Donald cartoon!

DONALD VS. THE PIRATE OF LUCK

(Duckburg)

Gyro: Huh? Oh no!
Scrooge: What’s wrong, Gyro?

Gyro: There are pirates on the sea! And they are heading for the ship that Donald is currently working on!
Scrooge: I had better warn the lad!
(On the ship, Donald answers the phone)

Donald: Uncle Scrooge? What do you want to tell me?

Scrooge: Gyro has discovered that pirates are sailing the seas and…

(Pirates board the ship and start attacking)
Donald: Sorry, Uncle Scrooge! I have to hang up!

Gladstone: Ahoy! I be Pirate Gladstone here to plunder ye goods!

Donald: OH YEAH?
Gladstone: Argh! A challenger, eh?
(Donald and Gladstone duel until Donald is disarmed)
Gladstone: Nobody can defeat me! I be the pirate of luck!

Donald: Pirate of luck?
Gladstone: Yes. All because of me lucky coin!

(Donald suddenly grabs the coin)
Gladstone: Hey! You can’t plunder from me!
(Gladstone trips and falls over board)
Donald: Now I’ll throw this coin away so it won’t fall into the wrong hands!

(Donald stares at the coin)
Donald: NOT! I’m keeping this for ‘meself’, matey!

THE END

(The audience cheers.)

Tommy: That was pretty good.

(Jack Skellington comes over to Sulley.)

Jack: I bet that I’m scarier then you, blue boy.

Sulley: Oh, really? Well how’s this?

(Sulley roars loudly.)

Jack: Hmph. Kids stuff.

(Woody and Flik meet up with Buzz and Grasshopper.)

Buzz: Oh, hello there Woody.

Woody: Buzz. Where are you going? To infinity and beyond?

Buzz: And what are you doing with that puny ant?

Woody: You must know that he’s my new friend, because you made friends with an ant’s worst enemy, a grasshopper!

(The grasshopper grabs his violin.)

Grasshopper: I should play a song about this incident.

Flik: I know who you are!
Grasshopper: You do?

Flik: I usually can’t forgive your kind for slaving us ants away, but you’re THE Grasshopper! I have all of your music albums!

Grasshopper: And I’m making a new one right here at the House of Mouse. Want to come with me?

Flik: It would be an honor!

(Flik walks away with the grasshopper.)

Buzz: Thanks for mentioning the ant-grasshopper thing, Woody. Now we have no friends again!

Woody: If it’s anyone’s fault it’s yours!

Mickey: What’s going on here?

Buzz: Woody is jealous because I get more attention then him, so he stopped being friends with me.

Woody: You were the one bragging about yourself!

Buzz: All because you couldn’t sit with someone else!

Woody: No one wanted to sit with me!

Mickey: Guys, you can’t stay angry with each other. Remember all you’ve been through. This whole thing was just a minor argument.

(Buzz and Woody pause.)

Buzz: You’re just as good as me, Woody. I’m sorry.

Woody: I’m sorry for letting it get to my head.

Mickey: Good! Now everything’s all sorted out.

Sulley: ROOOOOOOOAAAAAR!

Jack: Careful! I was scared to death by that kind of thing once!

(Back at Aladar’s table.)

Renamon: We’ve been talking too long.

Rika: We even forgot to order dessert.

Aladar: And everyone needs desserts.

Kron: Aladar, you’ll get your just desserts unless you admit I am right!

Men with power can beat weaklings any day.

Aladar: Oh, Kron…I’M GONNA BE MEAN!!!

(Aladar jumps and attacks Kron.)

Kron: Hey, you’re not supposed to be strong! STOP!!!!
(Buzz and Woody walk out of the House of Mouse.)

Buzz: I’m sorry about the bragging, Woody. Even though a space man is kinda cooler then…

Woody: Don’t start, Buzz.

Mickey: Well, It’s time to go.

Mike: Today’s House of Mouse was brought to you by….Computer Animation! Pixar teams up with Disney to bring you films where characters, scenery, and objects are all computer animated! (Pixar did not help Disney with James and the Giant Peach)
Mickey: See ya real soon!