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One day, in Eggman’s secret base, Eggman had just gotten his egg-like butt blown up by one of Tails’s machines.
Metal Sonic: Lost another take over the world plot?
Eggman: Can it, Metal Sonic. This is the last time that Miles Prower brat out-invents me.
Metal Sonic: Of course, it’s probably not.
Eggman: Every time I build a machine, he’s one step ahead of me.
Metal Sonic: Maybe you should get inside information on his next invention.
Eggman: I’ve got it! I need to get inside information on his next invention
Metal Sonic: I’ll send one of your stealth droids to….
Eggman : NO! The time for that has passed!!! I’ll have to go.
Metal Sonic: But these droids specialize in….
Eggman: Hey! Who’s the boss here, huh? ME! That’s who! My spy mission begins tonight!!!
That night, Tails was putting the finishing touches on his greatest invention ever. He went outside in his rather large backyard/bomb testing grounds about to release the mechanized thingy. Sonic and Knuckles were inside the house. Knuckles had shattered the Master Emerald again to keep it away from Rouge, and now Sonic was helping him restore it. Eggman was hiding in a tree in a small thicket with spy binoculars.
Eggman: Alright, time to see the fox’s next invention. *Begins speaking into a tape recorder.* Eggman’s Log: Eggman, this is Eggman. Information on Miles Prower’s next invention. The subject is about to release the new adversary, stand by.
Tails: *From down below.* *To Knuckles and Sonic.* I’ve got to go test the Typhoon’s capabilities. Call if you need anything.
Eggman: *into tape recorder.* The name of the subject is the Typhoon, possibly an updated version of the Tornado. Observation is required.
Tails: Okay, time to test the robot that will blow Eggman out of the water.
Tails pushes a button on a remote control and a large metal door opens up on the ground and out of it comes a large robot with a cockpit instead of a head, six wide arms loaded with weapons, two wide legs loaded with flight and jump boosters, a jet pack on its back, and two tubes connected to its cockpit. Eggman’s jaw drops to the floor. (Okay, limb)
Eggman: *Okay, he’s pretty much going to talk into that tape recorder the whole fic. Need I say it anymore?!?!* Subject has been identified as a large android-like battle robot with high-powered weaponry. May be more powerful than last conceived.
Tails picks up a clipboard and flies into the cockpit. Just as he is ascending, Eggman throws a bug on him which lands behind Tails’s ear. (Not bug like an insect, bug like a tiny radio transmitter.) The receiver is in Eggman’s ear.
Tails: First let’s test its movement capabilities
Eggman: Finally some information.
Tails makes the robot run around a lot extremely fast.
Eggman: It’s running smoothly so far, now what’s he doing?
Tails: Let’s test the arms now.
The Typhoon’s arms start moving around, barely missing the trees where Eggman is hiding.
Eggman: Uh oh! *ducks* Watch it! * jumps a little.* Enough already!!! *gets hit in the head.* (CLANG) Ouch!!! *Hit in the stomach, the kneecap, the foot, the stomach again and again and again, in the head again.* Ouch!!! YIKES!!! Ouchies!!! Oh crud!!! Ugh!!! Whoa!!! The pain!!! MY LEG!!! *Tails stops moving the arms.* *into tape recorder* The movements of the subject run very smoothly, I should have brought some iodine.
Tails: Movement and agility… check. *marks on clipboard.* Now to test the armor resilience.
Tails pushes another button on the remote control. After that, several laser guns pop up out of the ground on metal coils.
Tails: Fire at will!!! *The guns fire at the Typhoon, but the shots are reflected off of it.* Okay, the chassis is in perfect tact.
The shots that were reflected off of the armor heads straight for the thicket of trees. Three guesses what‘s going to happen next.
Eggman: *all charred black, coughing and sputtering.* Armor is highly reflective and has a high level of imperviousness.
Tails: Enough with the child’s play! *presses a button and out of the ground comes, oh, how would I put this…? JUST ABOUT THE SECOND BIGGEST STINKIN’ LASER GUN YOU WILL EVER SEEEEEE!!!!* Fire at will!!!
The huge cannon fires at the Typhoon. The armor doesn’t give way, of course, but simply reflects the blast. If you don’t know where that blast is heading, you haven‘t been paying attention.
Eggman: *Sees the blast coming and pathetically opens an umbrella to deflect the blow!!! Of course, this doesn‘t work and Eggman gets a little crispy.* Note to self: wear sun block, next time.
Tails: That’s a check for armor resilience. *marks on clipboard.* Now to try the grappler.
Eggman: The Typhoon possesses a grappler. (duh.)
Tails works with the controls inside of the cockpit. A post comes out of the ground as well. Tails aims the grappler at the post and fires it.
Eggman: I think I’m going to get hurt again.
Tails then makes the robot jump and it pulls itself toward the post, which it just beyond the thicket. When the Typhoon swings, its feet bend the tree, which quickly bends back up into place after he is past them. Its feet barely miss clunking Eggman’s melon.
Eggman: That wasn’t so bad. *the tree snaps slightly without completely breaking, tilting it to the point where Eggman falls out, but he is still concealed by the thicket.* A bruise or two, but otherwise I’m unharmed.
Tails: Okay, that’s a check. Time to test the use of my artificial Chaos.
Eggman: The brat has invented artificial Chaos! Curses!!! *Just as he shouts, the tree he was in snaps a little more.* Oh no.
Tails: Opening Chaos valve, *tree snaps more.* charging Chaos rods *tree snaps more.* Chaos rods fully charged!!! *tree completely snaps and starts to fall toward Eggman, who has virtually become a dear in the headlights.* I’ve always wanted to say this. *Tree is getting closer.* CHAOS CONTROL! *Time stops.* *the tree is just one-half of an inch away from Eggman. Eggman, using an anti-time-stopping device on himself (which he brought for no apparent reason), is now very relieved*
Eggman: Whew.
Tails: Okay, time to negate the effects. *pulls a lever and time starts moving again. The tree falls on Eggman. Eggman pulls himself out.*
Eggman: The subject has the ability to use Chaos Control. It’s not safe in this thicket anymore. I need a new hiding place. *sees a tool shed about one hundred yards away.* That should provide proper shelter and a good view. But how am I going to get past that monstrosity?
Eggman stupidly starts making a run for it. He’s moving pretty fast for a super genius(?) whose cholesterol matches his IQ (cough300cough). He stops after about thirty yards and decides to temporarily hide among a bunch of cardboard cutouts that look like Eggman running away.
Tails: Time for the weapons’ power/accuracy test.
Eggman: Now, of all times?!?!
Tails locks the target on the Eggman cutout farthest to the left and fires one of the many giant laser guns on the Typhoon‘s six arms. The cutout is reduced to ashes. Tails then blasts the next one to the right and then the next and begins systematically vaporizing the cutouts from left to right. Finally, he comes to the one on the far right, which is the real Eggman. Unwilling to get caught, he doesn’t move. He starts to sweat profusely.
Tails: Target locked… weapons fully charged… 3... 2... 1... Fi….
Knuckles: *Shouting from inside the house.* Hey, Tails, where do you keep the superglue? I’m all out.
Tails: *Turns head to answer.* *shouting* In the kitchen drawer farthest to the right next to the breadbox.
When Tails turns his head back to the so-called Eggman cutout, he is surprised to see that it has disappeared. Tails simply scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders, and marks on his clipboard. Eggman is now right next to the robot’s feet.
Eggman: The subject has very high-powered weaponry with near-pinpoint accuracy. I’m going to count to three, and then make a run for it.
Tails: Now to test the flight and jump boosters.
Eggman: 1... *Tails takes off.* 2... 2½… 2¾ … 3!
Eggman runs about ten yards onto a rather conspicuously placed bull’s-eye and then Tails makes a very crucial decision…
Tails: Let me see if I can land on that bull‘s-eye.
Tails slowly deactivates the flight boosters and the Typhoon starts to descend
Eggman: Mommy. *gets crushed by the Typhoon which leaps back into the sky.* Note to self: The Typhoon is extremely heavy, but can fly past the stratosphere nonetheless.
Eggman runs about five more yards onto another bull’s-eye which Tails lands on. Then another five yards and Tails lands on that one. Then another and another and another and another and another...
Tails: Flight and jump boosters, check. *marks on clipboard.*
Eggman: Ugh, the hurting. The……pastries. Huh? *sees the tool shed right in front of him. And goes inside.* I should be safe in here.
Tails: Time to test the most destructive weapon.
Eggman: Aha, this is it!!! To bad I can’t see this.
Tails: First, I must set up the target.
Tails pushes a button on the remote control to his testing field. Eggman feels a strong rumbling.
Eggman: What’s going on? Seismic activity is rare in this area.
The movement turns out to be a giant wooden decoy of a huge Eggman robot with a big target painted on it. The head happens to be… drum-roll please… TA DA!!! The tool shed!!!
Tails: Ready the cannon! *the armor on the robot’s chest open’s up to reveal a big hole designed to be a cannon.* Charging Chaos cannon!!! *energy is pulled into the cannon, creating a huge ball of energy in front of the cannon.*
Eggman: Hey, what’s that light?
Tails: FIRE!!!
The beam is fired at the decoy.
Eggman: Oh, double crud. *quickly writes will and blindfolds himself. The target is completely eradicated*
Tails: Oh yeah, Eggman won’t know what hit him, next time. If only I could have hit him just now. *Need I remind you that he is still completely oblivious of Eggman’s presence.*
Eggman: I’m……… feeling……… mighty………… low. *passes out and falls into the crater created by the blast.*
Sonic: *From inside house.* Hey Tails, we finished the Master Emerald, want to see?
Tails: Coming, Sonic. *deactivates the robot and goes inside the house.*
Tails then scratches behind his ear and out falls the bug. (And you know what I mean by bug.)
Tails: *thinking it’s an insect.* Yuck… cheap bug repellent.
The next day, Eggman is about to review the information he gathered from the previous night. He rushes into the base pretty banged up.
Metal Sonic: Home so soon? I would have thought you’d be dead by now.
Eggman: *all crazy-like* I GOT IT!!! I GOT IT!!!!! I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!! Everything I need to know about Miles Prower’s latest invention!
Metal Sonic: Well, press play, already!
Eggman presses the play button on the tape recorder. However, instead of playing the tape, it completely ruins it and then explodes. All that damage was definitely not good for it.
Eggman: *eye starts twitching.*
Metal Sonic: Sir, are you okay?
Eggman: *goes completely crazy.* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Gets put in a straight jacket and driven off to the funny farm.*
Metal Sonic: *shouting to Eggman* Don’t let them keep you for more than a month this time!
The End