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Author's Notes:
I've always loved The Great Mouse Detective. And I've also always had a marvelous
sense of humor. For years, ever since I first saw The Great Mouse Detective,
I've always wanted to see if bloopers would make the film even funnier! What
you are about to read will keep you rolling in the aisles!
And for those of you who have difficulty understand movie script terms, this
list will clear it up:
1. A "CUT TO" is that really quick change from one movie frame to
another.
2. A "time lapse" is that fade in-thing that shows a passage of time.
3. A "fade into black" is, well, when the camera fades into black.
So read, & enjoy! And I hope this "outtakes reel" will keep you rolling in the aisles!
Outtake #1--Banana Peel Blunder
(Scene: Basil makes his appearance)
BASIL (adventurously): Ah-ha! The villain's slipped this time! I shall have him! (CUT TO: through the doorway, the front door slams open; lightning flashes illuminate the frightening figure of a Chinese rat; CUT TO: Dr. Dawson cowers in fright; CUT TO: the Chinese rat runs about the flat, throwing his hat onto Dawson's head) Out of my way, out of my way! (CUT TO: Basil, who is disguised as a Chinese rat, slips on a banana peel, & slips & slides offscreen; he yells as he slides offscreen; from offscreen, Basil crashes into something, causing a major collision) Ow!
DAWSON: Are you all right?
BASIL (rubbing his sore head): Ow, I think I hurt my head! Now I'll be getting headaches for weeks!
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Outtake #2--Basil's Fall
(Scene: Basil is talking about Ratigan)
BASIL: (sitting on his chair) Know him?! That bat, one Fidget by name, is in the employ of the very fiend who was the target of my experiment! The horror of my every waking moment. The nefarious...(Basil starts to fall off his post)...WHOA! (CUT TO: Basil falls off his chair, & crashes into the ground) (upset) Oh, not AGAIN! I just fixed that lamp!
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Outtake #3--Twanger-Banger
(Scene: Basil is trying to talk to Olivia about the case)
BASIL: My dear, I don't think you understand. It will be quite dangerous. (sits on his violin) What'd you...Look at my...Phhhh..hmmm..! (angrily) Young lady, you are most definitely not accompanying us, and that is FINAL! (as Basil says "final", he slams his violin down on his knee; he holds his knee in pain, & jumps up & down) (wearily, irritated) Why must I be the target of jokes in this so-called "outtake reel"?
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Outtake #4--SPLAT!
(Scene: Fidget has kidnapped Olivia, & Basil & Dr. Dawson are trying to catch him)
BASIL: Quickly, Doctor! (CUT TO: Basil & Dawson rush after Fidget; CUT TO: Basil & Dawson disappear behind a wall, then rush back out; CUT TO: Basil & Dawson are running for their lives, as a giant toy Ferris wheel rolls after them) (scared) (screams in fright) Ah, ya, ah! Look out! (CUT TO: as the toy Ferris wheel follows them, Basil & Dawson run for their lives; the music in the background, as well as the Ferris wheel, slows down, & comes to a stop; CUT TO: Basil & Dawson stand, confused)
DAWSON (confused, scratching his head): Basil, what happened?
BASIL (shrugging his shoulders): I don't know. (CUT TO: the Ferris wheel rushes toward the oblivious Basil & Dawson, & runs over them; when the Ferris wheel completely goes over them, Basil & Dawson pop back up, going up & down like accordions)
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Outtake #5--Hopping-Horse
(Scene: Fidget has kidnapped Olivia, & is now trying to get out of the toy store; CUT TO: Basil takes a toy bouncing-horse, hops onto the bouncing horse, & tries to follow Fidget)
BASIL (bouncing on the toy horse): STOP, YOU FIEND!! (CUT TO: Basil bounces on his toy horse up various shelves; Basil uses the horse to hop up the shelves on one side, while Fidget climbs the other side; CUT TO: Basil bounces onto a top shelf, but his horse bounces too high, & Basil, still on the horse, is launched high into the sky; Basil yells a Goofy yell as he shoots higher into the air, then screams as he comes back down; CUT TO: Basil lands the horse onto a really big tower of toys, over which Fidget is hanging; due to the toy horse's weight, the toy tower topples over, & Basil falls down)
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Outtake #6--The Magic Trick
(Scene: Hiram is still working on the Mousetoria robot in his prison-barrel; the robot now has a mouth, nose, & eyes, & a wire hoop-skirt frame; CUT TO: Hiram gets a look of horror on his face; CUT TO: the door opens, & Ratigan stands in the doorway)
RATIGAN: Ah, Mr. Flaversham...(Ratigan chuckles, & Hiram looks down dejectedly) Allow me to present...(Ratigan holds out his cape like a magician's scarf; he pulls it back again to reveal Bartholomew smiling & waving) Your charming daughter! (CUT TO: Ratigan looks down, & sees Bartholomew; he gasps in shock) (angrily) What are YOU doing here? You're supposed to be dead! (CUT TO: Bartholomew scampers off, laughing giddily; as Bartholomew leaves, Ratigan chuckles) (to the camera) Sorry, can we try that again? (CUT TO: Ratigan is about to do the cape trick again) Allow me to present...(Ratigan pulls back his cape to reveal the Juggling Octopus [from the "Rat Trap" scene])...your charming DAUGHTER! (CUT TO: Ratigan looks down, & sees the Octopus) (angrily) Get out of here, you eight-legged bum!
OCTOPUS: But that's not until Scene 10! (Ratigan glares at the Octopus, & the Octopus runs off; Ratigan chuckles again)
RATIGAN (to the camera): Just once more, shall we? (CUT TO: Ratigan is about to do the cape trick one last time) (wearily) Allow me to present...(Ratigan pulls back his cape to reveal Olivia [who is by herself]; Fidget is not with her)...your charming DAUGHTER! (CUT TO: Ratigan looks down, & sees Olivia standing in the doorway without Fidget) (angrily) Where's Fidget?
OLIVIA (shrugging her shoulders): I don't know...(CUT TO: Fidget is eating at a restaurant)
FIDGET (with his mouth full of food): Heh-heh, movie outtakes don't get any better than this! (laughs)
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Outtake #7--Sorry, Wrong Paper
(Scene: Fidget is telling Ratigan about his performance)
FIDGET: (cackles evilly) No problem! I took care of everything! Everything on the list! (to himself, looking in his wing-pocket) Uh-oh...
RATIGAN (angrily): What's wrong?
FIDGET (scared): The list...I know I had it right...(as Fidget says this line, he frantically searches himself for the shopping list)
RATIGAN (angrily): Where's the list? (CUT TO: Fidget digs around in his wing-pocket, & pulls out a piece of paper)
FIDGET (happily, pulling out the paper): Hey, here it is! (CUT TO: Fidget looks at the paper, but stops; a look of horror spreads across his face) (fearfully) Wait a sec, this is...(gasps)...MY ART CLASS ASSIGNMENT!!! (screams) (runs off) I gotta give that to my teacher! Or I'll get an F! And I don't want that!
RATIGAN (to himself): I couldn't care less what happened to you.
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Outtake #8--Do The Right Scene
(Scene: at the Rat Trap, the Juggling Octopus is finishing up his act; no one really seems to care; CUT TO: Dawson claps, but everyone else boos)
BAR GUY (throwing stuff at the juggling octopus, angrily): Get off, you eight-legged bum! (CUT TO: the others throw things at the octopus, who runs for cover; CUT TO: the Octopus peeks from behind the curtain for a few minutes)
OCTOPUS (sarcastically): (scoffs) Oh, NOW, they got the scene right! (CUT TO: someone throws a knife at the Octopus, who immediately runs back for cover)
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Outtake #9--Words Can Hurt
(Scene: Fidget is dragging Queen Mousetoria down the hallway to feed her to Felicia)
FIDGET: Over here, fatty. (cackles evilly) You're a ton, toots. (CUT TO: Queen Mousetoria kicks Fidget on the head real hard) (angrily) What was that for?
QUEEN MOUSETORIA (angrily): That hurt my feelings!
FIDGET: Who cares? (carrying Mousetoria down the hall) Besides, you don't kick me until later!
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Outtake #10--A Little Swing Goes A Long Way
(Scene: Ratigan is reading a giant list in the throne room)
RATIGAN: "Item 96. A heavy tax shall be levied against all parasites and spongers, such as the elderly...(CUT TO: an elderly couple gasps)...the infirm...(CUT TO: an old mouse with a broken leg in a cast, & holding a cane, gasps)...& especially, hee hee, little children." (CUT TO: a little boy makes a fighting pose at Ratigan; CUT TO: the old mouse is walking up to Ratigan, & shaking his fist at him)
OLD MOUSE (angrily, limping on his cane): That's ridiculous! You're insane!
RATIGAN: Perhaps I haven't made myself clear? (CUT TO: Ratigan knocks the old mouse off his feet, & snatches his cane)
OLD MOUSE (flying offscreen): WHOA! (crashes into something offscreen)
RATIGAN: Sorry about that!
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Outtake #11--Bad Back
(Scene: the Mousetoria robot is falling apart)
MOUSETORIA ROBOT/BASIL: You, Professor, are none other than a...(the parts fall off the Mousetoria robot; CUT TO: all that's left of the robot is the frame, two eyes, & mouth)...foul stenchius rodentrous...(catches on) I mean, rodentius, commonly known as a--!
RATIGAN (angrily, turning red): Don't say it!
BASIL: (comes from behind the curtains)...SEWER RAT!!! (Ratigan screams, his back arching upward, & bending inward; CUT TO: Ratigan throws out his back, as we hear a loud snap & crunch)
RATIGAN (clutching his back, screaming & moaning in pain): Ow, I threw out my back! Ohh...(CUT TO: Basil gets out a cell phone, & dials "911")
BASIL: Hello, hospital? We've got a thrown-out back at Buckingham Palace.
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Outtake #12--Mistaken Rodentity
(Scene: Basil, while trying to find a way to follow Ratigan, Fidget, & Olivia, climbs up a flagpole, & points to some balloons tied to the fence)
BASIL: (points at some balloons) Dawson! Flamdoodle...I mean, Flamches... Flaversham! (smacks his head) (a la Homer Simpson) D'oh!
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Outtake #13--Double Trouble
(Scene: Ratigan is facing Olivia on the dirigible)
RATIGAN: Would you kindly sit down and SHUT UP!!! (as Ratigan finishes this line, another Ratigan, wearing the royal garb from the Diamond Jubilee, walks up on the balloon)
RATIGAN TWIN: (a la Theo Huxtable) Now, I want everybody to sit down & SHUT UP!
RATIGAN (angrily): Would you get out of here?!
RATIGAN TWIN: (scoffs) Fine! (storms off)
RATIGAN: (chuckles weakly) (quickly) You didn't see that! (pushes the camera away)
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So, were those bloopers funny or what?
Please don't forget to give me reviews! I'm open to all feedback and/or suggestions!