Randal Graves

Randal Graves is one of the (anti-)heroes of Clerks: The Animated Series. He runs the video store next to the Quick Stop convenience store - when he feels like it. He's always late, is rude to people and often his fellow clerk Dante has to suffer for it. Randal's attitude towards his job is easily summed up in this quote: "This job would be great if it wasn't for the customers."

Voice: Jeff Anderson

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I love Randal. He's rude, lazy, hates customers and isn't afraid to let them know it and is always either intentionally or unintentionally causing problems for Dante. Oh yes, and sometimes (in the series, at least) he's just plain clueless. Yet his smug smile, perpetually relaxed manner and his devil-may-care attitude give you a feeling that he's always up to something, like there's always something more going on inside his head than he lets on. Which may or may not be the case; he often comes up with plans and ideas but that doesn't mean they're all good. He's a jerk, plain and simple, and dealing with someone like him in real life would be excruciating - especially if you happened to be a customer - but as a character, there's something utterly appealing about him. Maybe because he's not afraid to say and do the kinds of things all of us sometimes wish to do. The drop-dead sexy voice doesn't hurt either.

~ JessKat

Dante: " 'Pay as you exit?' This your plan? 'Pay as you exit'? Isn't that what the customers were doing already?"
Randal: "Kind of. I guess. Shut up."

Randal: *bursts into the Quick Stop in hysterics* "Oh my God! Call the cops! I just freed myself from a madman's subterranean prison! He's been holding me captive - which is why I'm a little late opening the video store. I can describe the den cage for police artists. There were walls! There were doors! *breaks down sobbing* I can't relive it! Don't make me, I'm begging you....!
*notices Dante, calms down instantly* What're you doing here?
Dante: "It seems someone told the boss I needed to work more hours for college credits."
Randal: "Wasn't me."
Dante: "I didn't say it was."
Randal: "Well, that's good, 'cause I....alright, it was me."

Dante: *points to customer* "This guy has been waiting all morning. How about you go open up the video store and earn your keep?"
Randal: " 'Earn your keep'? You talk like such a mo sometimes. *to customer* You, move it."
Customer: "You're three hours late!"
Randal: *grabs the videos from the customer* "And so are these. There's gonna be a late charge."

Randal: "What's going on?"
Random guy: "Don't you know? He has returned!"
Randal: "Uh-oh. Jesus?"

Leonardo Leonardo: "I want to offer you a job working here....for me. I want you lock, stock and barrel."
Randal: "Is this some sorta gay thing?"
Leonardo Leonardo: "No."
Randal: "You're sure?"
Leonardo Leonardo: *hesitantly* "Y...yes."
Randal: *gives Dante a "knowing" nudge*

Randal: "Don't you get it? I've never seen anything more clearly in my life! Leonardo Leonardo must be destroyed!"
Leonardo Leonardo: "I can hear you, you know!"
Randal: "It was Dante!"

*Dante and Randal are watching a TV show*
Dante: "I've seen this one a thousand times. It won a Humanitas."
Randal: "What's that?"
Dante: "It's an award for TV shows that don't use words like 'retarded'."
Randal: "That's retarded. And queer."

"Boy, 'Happy Days' had a lot of great moments. Do you remember the one where the Fonz jumped over all those trash cans outside of Arnold's? And how about the one where the Fonz jumped over the shark? Wow!"

"The weed of crime bears bitter fruit, you old hag!"

"I can't believe I married two guys in one year."

Customer waiting outside the video store: "It's 3 A.M.! My baby has been home alone since this morning! Where have you been?"
Randal: "Sorry, ma'am, we close at 9."
*Randal slams the door in her face, then proceeds to lock the door*
Randal: "Uh-oh. The key broke in the lock!"
Dante: "We're trapped? Again?"
Randal: *banging on the door* "Hello? Anyone? Lady with the dead baby?"

English customer: "Pack of fags!"
Randal: "You're a fag!"
Customer: "It's a cigarette, mate."
Randal: "I'm not your mate, fag!" *attacks customer*

Dante: "Boy, it wasn't until years later that we found out what 'fag' really meant. Heh, right, mate?"
Randal: "You're a fag!"
Dante: "No, a fag's a cigarette, remember?"
Randal: "You're a cigarette!"

Dante: "I tell ya, I'm exhausted."
Randal: "You're exhausted? I had three people rent today."
Dante: "Three people? Randal, three people is nothing."
Randal: "It is when you're trying to figure out which three people to rent to."

~ JessKat

~ JessKat

This page created by JessKat